2 hands 1 cable 1 wakeboard.

been a long day today. school was normal. except seeing her more today den usual. i feel weird. i feel bad. i have so much emotions inside me, exploding, causing a self destruction to myself.i keep telling myself, forget. dun care. MOVE ON. but i cant. i kept peeking, just to get a look at her, smiling, laughing, giggling or whatever. i would not be in the hall, tats for sure. i missed her too much. and i guess it backfired. i shouldnt msg her. msged her after sch, she replied " i am in school" and no more. when i msg once more 3 hours later. she says " seriously u are too sensitive, i am alright duh" sigh. and soon it led to discussions that even i didnt dare to open her msg.i feel like a failure. i am sacrificing so much. and i dont understand why am i doing so when there wouldnt be anything in return. noelle msged me today. and i didnt read it till 6. she touched me, but i dun understand why, i kept picturing, the sender's weiling instead of her. but still, i feel bad. to her, to every1. i feel fucked up. although my lifes good , everythings good. but i dont feel good. she replied " they report to you about this? do they? anw dont think so much" i am confused. what do u expect me to think now? i msged her (exact words)" i hope i am not disturbing or irritating you, but i cant, this question will cross my mind. and i want to know about this, if u are irritated or whatsoever, please say, i wont get affected. all i want is to see u happy, not to leave a bad impression of me" and she didnt reply till now, and i dont get it, why is she apologizing to me now? 2 smses. i guess she heard from janice/char i went to drink. but it wasnt strong, 6%-.- just that i drank too fast and my stomach's boiling. sigh. i am thinking too much. i am at lost. i really love her, but i just want her to be happy. she likes some1 now, or maybe she think she does, possibility, terry,steven,hanif,guanwei. i really dont know. and i dont wanna know. i dont wanna get hurt. and i guess i will be following weijian style. hate that person, or find her bad points, dun look at her good points. but one thing. i cant find any bad points, other than her high pitched voice. sigh. gods playing with me. gods treating me fieces. sigh. i am at lost.caught in a dilemma. sorry weiling, if i really did disturbed u. i guess u are treating me nice for the sake of my examination results. sorry. i dont want your pity, please take them back and say what u sincerely feel.