2 hands 1 cable 1 wakeboard.

life is meaningless to me. i seem alright. but i am not. deep inside. i am hurt. deeply. this wounds seem to persist.my feelings still the same. i dont understand.why? why ? i am being fucked upside down inside out. this feelings sucks when u hear that she likes someone else, a friend of mine. the feeling stinks. it hurts. deeply, like a dagger thru my heart. i cant explain, i cant think. i feel life is stupid. love is stupid. i wish theres a choice where u can choose between no emotions and emotions in your life. this feeling of love, jealousy,hurt,sadness overwhelms me 24/7. seeing her performing , smiling ,giggling,laughing. admiring her every way. but shes just a high quality clothes which i cant wear, she doesnt reply me now, or care for me. her last msg hurts me so much, i actually teared for awhile. why cant i be perfect? why cant i be the one? why am i always being fucked at? why am i being depressed here and there, fucking ppl ard today while playing bball. sigh. its stupid.really. zhuang teacher msg me: when u are fated to get something in life, even without doing anything, u will definitely get it, but when u are not fated to get it, no matter how hard you try, how much u sacrifice, how much u fight for it. u will never get it.