no surprise here
2 hands 1 cable 1 wakeboard.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
i was reading some funny blog, www.fmylife.com. lol. heres some of the funny parts.
Today, my son looked out of the window and said "what's that piece of shit doing on our driveway?" It was the new car we were trying to surprise him with on his 16th birthday.
Today, our school had tryouts for chorus. Everybody sang a snippet of the song together until the teacher stopped us, saying it sounded awful. He singled me out and told me to sing alone. After I sang the part, he said, "Son, your gift to God will be silence
Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequins ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then proceeded to slap it. It wasn't a mannequin
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo".
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play
Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout
Today, I was trying to register for a porn site. I secretly took my father's credit card, but all I got back was a "this credit card is already in use
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I undressed and then proceeded to throw up all over the rug
Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while, and my dad said, "honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat."
Today, I turned 22, without anyone wishing me a happy birthday. In fact, the only phone call I received all day was from my brother. He wanted to borrow money
and to my gess peeps. this is how u fk a spider
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider
Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years are in fact my father's pubic hair trimmers
and there are more. LOL
10:02 AM
the pee pees
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