2 hands 1 cable 1 wakeboard.

i sometimes find myself drifting through this mentality, without effect and i often wonder if i am blessed, i searched thru days that have been hard, to try and understand. the many trials that i have known, the life that i have had, you see me in my daily grind. so confident and strong, yet when i am alone, i question, just where i belong? i often try too hard, i find to analyze and guess, to scrutinize and investigate my life i confess. is there some hidden meaning? some agenda to be found? a greater purpose waiting? if i care to hang around? it teases and taunts me. always slightly out of sight, a hazy vision. out of reach, where darkness hides its light.i struggle to bring clarity, to what awaits me here. and yet this weak illusion always fades before my stare. it seems the harder i try to focus through the haze, it serves to add more questions. through my endless and tired gaze. perhaps im trying to hard to understand it all. for can we ever truly know? just what we have in mind? each incident, each moment passed jsut adds upon the next, but in the end, will i find the truth? or will i be perplexed? perhaps i make it even harder than it has sometimes. but will my searching bring me my feelings over time? or will it leave me confused as i am feeling now?