kinda funny, i went to my dashboard,and i saw 3 profiles, and one of them had the heading, a day closer to As, i think i should change it to 1 day closer to ORD. hahah. ok not funny.
well, people out there. what is forgiveness? is there a clear definition to that? sometimes i wonder, how can u forgive, or forget, things that happened, bad things, unhappy moments, unwanted memories, unjustified feelings and many more. but sometimes, you do, not because u want to, but it just happens, mostly due to the love for that someone, even when she/he had crushed your heart so badly, and u still can let that go and see if shes ok with his/her life even when that special someone that lights up his/her life isnt you, but well, life is like that. u just happen to forgive them, even when they gave u shit, talk behind your back, laugh at your crap,break your heart, u just forgive them, because u know , theres no point making a big fuss out of it,what happened had already happened. no one gains, all u need to know is, u just have to be more careful around these people. you never know when they can do another stunt they did back then. let bygones be bygones, forgive, but not forget .
well, apparently, bmt is going to be over for me, 24km route march left, next week is kinda slack, oc evening, platoon evening and company evening. i think i am going to gain back my weight. shit. no more dreams of 8 pacs.
on a lighter note, went to play rugby today, although we played touch, i realised, my fitness for games, now like shit. too much running for endurance and speed, but no stamina for sudden bursts or restart plays in rugby. damn. but well, red tshirt rocks right WS and DY? freak that. sua la. thats wad bros are for, use and abuse. lol. and so much for haagen daaz icecream at julian house, i didnt noe haagen daaz starts with an N and ends with an E. wts.
thinking ahead, i wonder if i could actually do something about some stuffs, for those who understand, good. because, thinking ahead, it might not work out.
1) if i get posted to OCS, book out rate is more or less, 0? 2) if i get into airforce, i will be in aus? GG¬
so the last option is, CHAO KENG. pes C 9, 8 to 5 job, become clerk or driverrrrr..haha. lame.. i was talking to jie en the other day about this issue, and something similar to it about a year back with xw, maybe i am dumb, but if thats wad it takes, i would do it. but well, i doubt that opportunity will come, because that situation, as far as i can say, will never happen.
i miss watching rugby i miss playing rugby, i miss waking up late on bed and still lay there and think of what to do next and, i miss you
Saturday, March 20, 2010
what is love? and what will you do for that special someone? be it your family, friends or that special someone. have you ever thought about this aspect before? be it sacrificial, to forgive or even to apologize not because you are wrong, but its because you are willing to let go of your ego, and placing your love one first. have someone ever made u feel like changing for the better? to be a better man.
well, there are many instances, and perhaps it happened before in your life, even though sometimes it hurts when u do it, or when it goes unappreciated. looking back, sometimes, all i could say was, " well i tried my best" or perhaps, i did my best. for those who are close to me, all would know, the unhappiness and stress i had last year,thanks to most of my friends, circle and kaihui esp,i made it thru.
and that brings about another point, should we be independent? keeping thoughts to yourself, be it happy or gloomy ones, instead of sharing them with your friends and ask for opinions? i realised i myself, is quite dependent on my friends, even though i am fairly sociable, i have a clique of friends, whom i regard as close, although this clique of friends are small, but i know for myself, that they can be trusted with whatever there is i have to tell them. being too independent would be kinda sad dont you think? everyone wants to have someone to depend on, vice versa, it is pleasant to know that there are people who depends on you too, and u slowly u realise, you depend on them too. wouldnt you feel better this way? that u know, whenever u encounter any difficulties, any obstacles in life, there are people around you, who would help you, encourage you. family, friends, buddies, brothers and sometimes, those u despise may just change your impression of them due to that kind gesture of theirs.
but then again, this opens up opportunities of betrayal and backstabs, and sometimes, that doesnt feel too good. there are many ways it could happen, for instance,
stealing your best friends girlfriend. thats fuck up, seriously. leaving a permanent scar right smack there, on your heart.
writing against your buddy but act and pretend nothing happen and still be your "friend"
having a fork tongue.
and many more. for starters, isnt friendship base on trust? like most of my clique says,
its all about trust. qouted by mr biceps wong aka maosanwong aka sunrise aka wongapong.
touch your heart, and ask yourself all these. and maybe u will find your answer.
i left my head and heart on the dancefloor.
Friday, March 19, 2010
well, have u ever wondered when your friends just turned out to be such an ass when they are given some power? well, i experienced that first hand. so what if u are a sergeant, does that mean our friendship doesnt exist just because we are in army? did your ego just exploded out from your shell just because u enlist earlier than me and is now a sergeant? im utterly disgusted when i realised how fuck up this is, wouldnt friends be happy to see each other during army? at least some do, but not all. fancy this, each time i see that mofo, he either scold me for no reason, or just scold me cause i want to talk to him about stuffs. i mean, dude, arent we friends? just because u are given some power doesnt mean u should and must abuse it, especially to your friends who stills considers u like one.
and that brings about another point, how do u really define friends? especially in army, u can have someoone, being "actively" trying to help u, being close to u, but backstabs u in the end just to increase their chances to OCS, dude, cmon. you know it yourself, if u cant make it. accept the fact and move on. whats the point in pulling people down into your sad life? my buddy is one of them which i am sad to say, utterly disappointed at his actions. i have nothing to say about him, but maybe 2 words? fuck you? lol. well, i couldnt stand his "acting" after backstabbing me, it was like, WTF? " err. are u ok? " " waaaaaaaa. airforce lehhhhhhhh" " eh eh. i help u keep your bag u knowww? " damn. in army, u really meet funny people. especially people who suddenly smiles and march for no fucking reason.
on a happier note, BMT is almost over. everything is about PT PT PT and PT. kinda tiring, but i manage to lose alot of weight. LOL. unbelievable huh.
just this once, just for now and just like that..
Sunday, March 14, 2010
had much fun today, went for service for the first time, ok actually, the second time.
shopping, having lunch at pizza hut. but it rained quite badly i guess. okay. not much to update, but yeah. BOOK IN SOON.
good day! (:
Saturday, March 13, 2010
bmt is almost over,
field camp sit test range IPPT
everything is moreorless done, whats left are,
and in 4 weeks time, POP!
time passes really quick, and in a moment, 5 weeks is gone. whoo.
well, i guess we all have to apologize to mr wong for the overboard flaming, but i am glad he didnt flare up and just didnt say anything.
Sunday, March 07, 2010
why do i feel so sucky when i am goin to book in this weke? LOL. must be the fun i had this 3 days tat i felt i had not enough of it. gosh. next week, sit test + route march. im so gonna die. ^@^!#^# die die die. positive yeemin, positive. cmon.
in 1 hour time, goodbye civilisation. hello army.
congrats on houlle roulle on getting 1st runners up for touch!!!! and also, congrats on ronde monde on getting 1st too (:
ang, dont die of abrasions. that shows how hard u played today jolyn, dont die of aches on your hip, that shows how hard u ran today wini, PLEASE SHOWER. judith, burden lee just became powerfake lee jamie, allrounder cat, i dont know what to say, but u ran like a ferrari. lol kaisi, wad kinda sidesteps are those?
oh no. i am going to book in soon =/
Friday, March 05, 2010
been a long week since field camp, my results was kinda good, but i expected better, but nevertheless, i tried my best and i have no regrets.
gp E econs E maths A chem B phy B
kinda ironic when my best sub, chem isnt my best subject afterall, and my weakest subject, maths is actually, my best one. taking my results the second time, i didnt feel nervous, or anxious, i know roughly how well i have done after doing the paper,walking out after the paper during 2008, i knew, i would fail. but walking out during 2009 was a different one, i knew i could at least get a b.
frankly speaking, i always wonder, why do they care so much in academic areas? what happens to those who didnt make it?? what would they do then? get low paid jobs? inability to enter any uni? thats just what i am hearing. people breaking down, crying. people giving up. people getting anxious on what would they have to do now, and i wonder, back then, i didnt cry, i didnt break down. but i was disappointed, disappointed in myself for not having the discipline in facing this obstacle, facing it again was a tough decision, even though ms kim just snatched my paper and handed it in for me in just a split second. well, i am glad with my results now, but i am upset that some of my closest friends didnt do quite well. i dont really know how to console or offer comforting words, but life isnt all about your results, good grades doesnt equate to good pay, it doesnt equate to good jobs too, it is subjective to your personal preferences and your interests. so dont give up, think about your passion, be it teaching, helping as a social worker, being a nurse etc. all you need to know is, u can and u will reach your desired work life, its how determined u are in what u want.
on a lighter note, i had fun today, eating dallas and doing stupid things seems enjoyable. lol. tell me about it.