2 hands 1 cable 1 wakeboard.

Now that the excitement is gone, I start to realise, the stress taking over. the magnitude of workload given, the non stop work to clear 14 subjects in a mere 6 months, I start to ponder on my happy go lucky self in Liverpool today while at work. I didn't expect myself to be upset in the morning when I got to school and my stuff got shifted to a lone seat beside my actual seat by a friend of mine. It was just a small prank, but I felt irritated by his actions. then again, I stepped back and wonder, is my short temper back again?

I realised, its the work taking a toll on me, somehow, a small part of me thinks I have to catch up, and pull up my average. 90% isn't good enough when others are scoring 93s, the competitive side of me take over but as usual, since young, I wasn't good in studying. But it was good to prove my A math teacher wrong, " you cannot do maths, some people are destine to be an arts person. you are one of them" and wala, A for A levels on H2 maths, and 100% for every test in uni. But this, is a whole new ball game. as you can see, my course isn't as bonded as other course batches. we are split into 4 groups! with just a mere 6 of us. can u believe that? C is a social butterfly, S and L, T and R and theres me with the HK guys. I don't blame them. everyone has their own comfort zone, but what about working as a team? I despise myself for blaming them for not working as a team on the earlier months, but who am I to complain when I am one of the contributing factor too? I decided to work on it once more. The Qatar group will be a team. I suggested a dinner get together on Thursday, hope it will work.

Back to studies, Although it is stressful, I am actually glad to take up this challenge. Because this is entirely different. In school, you do as you are told, with no direction, no aim, no goal but to score As for your parents to be proud. But at CTC, you don't have to be told anything. The common aim is to be a pilot, to fly. to take flight. No questions asked. everyone strives to do their best. Even with the subtle complains by everyone or the laughter and fronts people placed in front of everybody. We all know god damn well, "I am stressed" but I will do it. and look back, 2 years time with 3 strips on my shoulders and know it is all worth it. The skies, the clouds. I can wait for the next 7 subjects to be over, to grab the control stick once again. to do radio calls, to do checks, to fly, to see, to navigate.

Throughout these 4 months, I could see myself change quite significantly, being clean, neat, presentable, trying to make sure my voice isn't as loud as before, watching what to say and what not to, working together (still trying my best to bond QA05) and planning for the future.

I am still worried about my eyes, my condition seems interesting, to be able to control both eyes separately, to view 2 different image if I want to, it feels cool. but that got me an initial fail during my class 1 at Gatwick. Pray for the best. I hope, 200k doesn't go down the drain just because of this.


meanwhile, I gotta thank P, she changed me quite a bit, telling me off on my habits and what nots, although she gave me so much problems in CTC, a roller coaster ride I must say. Even though I know, ultimately, shit is going to happen. But I guess, when it does, this time. I will walk away. as I did for the first.


in a totally unrelated subject, im sorry D. for not being the man I used to be, and for not being the man you want me to be.

-Min